Once upon a time there was a big bronze raven who sailed and croaked with the updrafts of hot desert air over the Utah canyons, looking for prey. This raven was a loud one. Even his friends agreed he was loud, sometimes quite irritating. We’ll call him Bill the Bronze Raven.
Bill sat high in a cottonwood tree one very hot afternoon, probably 107.5 degrees. It was of course summer and most of the bloody tourists were gone, the ATV riding, Starbucks slurping, RV driving and gas guzzling fools who traversed his ancient lands.
A clever lizard sunned herself on a distant rock, innocent, admiring her own glistening beauty and thinking about her lunch, likely to be an ant or a scorpion. Lucy the Lizard was a handsome gal.
Bill spotted her, and debated with himself. “She’s a skinny one, bronze like me, probably empty and tasteless inside. I don’t need the water that bad. But if I leave him alone, my friends will see my stupidity and laugh at me and I will have to scream and get myself worked up again. I hate all the bother of this hunting life!”
But then Bill’s stomach growled and it got the best of his lazy ass and he swooped down before the lizard could even wink and that was the end of the lizard. Even Lazy Bill the Bronze Raven had to agree that day that Lucy was one of the best bronze lizards he had ever had the privilege to meet. He kept one of her feet as a souvenir to show his wife Martha, who of course complained that he had not brought her a lizard too.